2024 Reset: What I'm Letting Go Of To Have More Joy and Ease This Year
There’s a lot of pressure when the clock changes from December 31st to January 1st on how to make this year the best year yet. It can get overwhelming.
What if instead of adding more things to our already full plates, we remove the stuff that isn’t adding value to our lives to make more room for the important things that matter? What matters to you and what matters to me may be very different, but I think we can agree that we don’t need more on our plates. Having less and creating space to breathe, invites more joy, grace and ease into our lives. This year I’ve decided to have a reset and let go of the things that are causing me to be overwhelmed, worn out, and feeling like a failure in the roles of my life. A few or more of these things may help you too.
1. Clutter
Our physical home can sometimes be the thing that is causing overwhelm. Over the years, I’ve realized that having too much clutter affects my mental health. I’m more likely to be on edge, lack energy, and have a hard time focusing on completing daily tasks in my home.
One thing I’ve learned is that clutter attracts more clutter (unless you switch your mindset). Imagine each item has a price tag on it. It’s not based on the money you spent on it, but whether or not it’s adding value to your home or life. Is the item fulfilling the purpose that it was intended to do? It could be a kitchen gadget that you only used a couple of times and is now collecting dust in a cabinet. Or it could be clothes that haven’t been worn (in over a year) or random stuff that you don’t know what to do with so it gets stuffed away into drawers and closets.
Each item we own takes up real estate, so ask yourself if it is worth occupying your valuable space. If it is, create a designated spot where you can put it away when not using it, and if it isn’t worth the real estate then donate it.
For the items you’re unsure of use a “Time Will Tell” Bin (coined by The Mimimal Mom). A bin or box where you can put items in and use the “test of time” principle to see if you’ll use it again within 3-6 months. Most often, I’ve found that as time has gone by I’ve never really missed the item. This helped me to decide that it would be okay to donate (I even do this for kids' toys).
I have already decluttered a fair amount of items in my home, but my goal is to get to the last 10-15% of them that aren’t adding value. Removing these items makes room and energy for the things that matter to me and that bring joy to my life.
2. Serving From an Empty Cup
It’s normal to put our husbands, children, home, and the work we do first. At the end of the day (sometimes several days) I forget to fill up my cup; resulting in being worn out, upset or even resentful towards my family. Can you relate?
Here’s a nugget of truth that I’ve been testing out lately. It’s not selfish to fill up your cup first. Let me explain.
Instead of viewing this concept (serving those we love) as a straight line by putting our needs last; let’s see it as a circle. When we fill up our cup first, then we can pour into others throughout the day, and then we will fill up again and the cycle continues.
The more I fill up my cup regularly I feel like I’m a better mom, wife, homemaker, friend, etc.
If you are stuck on ideas on what fills you up (or recharges you) think about what brings you joy, what gives you energy, and what calms your spirit. Here’s a short list I use (you have my permission to use it) or create your own.
- Reading God’s Word
- Prayer
- A nature walk
- Exercise
- Sip on chai tea (or coffee) in silence
- Write in a journal
- Do a hobby
3. Negative News or Social Media
The news and social media can be used for lots of good. They help us stay informed of important events and connect us to family, friends, and others we follow. However, even things that were intended for good can have negative effects on our hearts, minds, and souls.
Perhaps you’re like me and can become triggered through fear, stress, anxiety, and depression by what you see on social media or the news. For my sanity, I’ve had to reduce or stop viewing certain videos, posts, and articles covering the latest world events or political drama.
I’ve also had to create healthy boundaries around following specific groups or people on social media. Their posts have caused me to think negatively of myself or become jealous of them (or their lifestyle.) It’s okay to pause to deal with the heart issue behind it. You can always follow them again later on when you’ve taken the time to heal.
4. Self-Reliance
It’s okay to be independent at times, but we all have our limits. This has been a journey for me. Ignoring the fact that sometimes I need help is not healthy. I don’t need to juggle all these things and neither do you.
It’s good to ask for help whether it’s from your husband, kids, extended family, or friends. Even short people like me have to ask strangers for assistance in getting grocery items that are high on the shelves. There have been situations where I had to get a little uncomfortable (and set my pride aside) to ask for help with a variety of things, especially when my husband is at work and we only have one vehicle.
It brings me joy when I can help someone (whether it’s dog sitting, or decluttering their home) by doing something to fill a need. I feel valued and if I feel that way I would like to think that others do too. Don’t be shy, reach out to your circle of friends, family, or church community, this could be the next step in growing that relationship.
Don’t get me wrong, my husband and kids do help me out with house chores and dinners too. But it wasn’t always this way. Before I was willing to ask for help, but I would rather not because I struggled with being a perfectionist. I had a certain way of doing things and I thought that their help was more of a hindrance. Over the years, I’ve learned to lay down these high expectations (more of that later). Working as a team (even if it’s not the way I would do it) has become my new focus.
5. Goals
Living intentionally is not a destination it's a journey. It's not about what the goal is, but who you are becoming. Goals are good to have, but this year I’m not focusing so much on the result. Instead, my main focus is my daily micro habits.
For example: I’ve had the goal of weight loss for most of my adult life. I couldn’t be consistent with spending $$$ every month on weight loss programs or extended intense exercises. Instead, I’ve started to focus on where I was at; exercising with just my body weight for 10 mins a day for 3 days a week, then 5 days. I built the habit. Now I can increase my workouts to 20-30 mins and use 8lb weights).
*If you’re looking for a Christian exercise trainer who incorporates her faith into her workouts with Christian music and scripture reading, then I highly recommend Cristina at Christ Glorified Fitness on YouTube. I’ve been watching her videos for the last few months. I love how I can work out in front of my kids and not have to worry about immodest outfits or inappropriate music.
Having micro habits is not just for exercising. I’ve used it with reading my Bible and spending time in prayer. I used to struggle with making time for God. When my kids were little I used the Proverbs 31: First 5 app. Last year I came across The Bible Recap Podcast. At first, I would listen to it while doing the dishes. Then I felt a tug on my soul to sit down and listen to it (undistracted), and shortly after that, I began to follow along and read the corresponding scripture passages. Soon I developed the habit of praying after listening to the podcast. It began with one small micro habit.
For too long I had the focus of an all-or-nothing mindset with my goals. Once I switched to focusing on micro habits and taking one baby step at a time, I was able to be consistent and grow from there.
6. Complicating Things
Too often I make things way more complicated for myself while trying to be and do what is best for my family. Can you relate?
I’m discovering that it’s perfectly okay to choose a simpler path. Having pre-made decisions in place (regarding meals, home, and routines) helps me avoid decision fatigue throughout the day. Things like creating a simple meal plan (I use a notebook and focus on one week at a time). Keeping things simple can apply to all areas of your life, not just your home.
Creating systems and rhythms doesn’t have to be difficult. Don’t overthink it - try it out and make changes when needed. One book that has helped me in this area is The Lazy Genius Way by Kendra Adachi. It has been life-changing for me.
7. High Expectations
I’ve struggled with high expectations since I was a child. I always strived to do my absolute best, especially with my schoolwork. I remember one time I got 92% on a math test and I felt like it wasn’t enough. I carried that same expectation into my adult life, as a wife, mom, homemaker, etc. There is nothing wrong with doing our best, but there comes a point when it becomes counterproductive. It got to the point where I was projecting the same high expectations onto my husband and kids.
Eventually, I had to change my thinking. Instead of feeling like I had to reduce my expectations I chose to surrender them to God, letting Him fill in the gaps. Allowing room for grace (for my family and I) has allowed me to see the joy in our differences. *I’m not perfect at this and am working on this daily, but each time I do it does get easier).
Don't settle for anything less than what God has declared over your life. Being overwhelmed, worn out, or feeling like a failure is not part of God's promises for your life.
Perhaps this can be a year about less instead of more. This Bible verse came to mind that I would like to share you with.
“Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God - truly righteous and holy.” Ephesians 4: 21-24 NLT
Jesus came to give life and freedom from the bondage that we carry. Yes, our sins are a big part of that load, but God doesn't stop there. He cares enough to walk by our side both in the high and low days (and everything in between) to help us grow, becoming the women we were created to be, faithfully alive and free in our hearts and homes.
Always cheering you on, beautiful-hearted friend,
PS: Are you ready to take small intentional steps with big results to help you overcome feelings of overwhelm, worn-out and failure? Click on the link to receive my FREE mini-guide. This is the year to break the cycle!
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